The decision to divorce is sometimes made by both spouses. If you and your ex decided together that the marriage wasn’t salvageable, you might not think that you’re going to have to go through a bunch of emotions as you work through the divorce and during the immediate period afterward. The truth is that even when you were pushing for the divorce, you will likely still go through the full range.
Ending a marriage is difficult in almost all cases. Even if your marriage was horrible, you are likely going to mourn the loss of some aspects of the union. This is perfectly normal, so determining how you’re going to handle it all before these emotions creep up might benefit you.
A roller coaster ride
Your emotions might make you feel like you’re on a roller coaster. You may feel elated to be single one moment, but then you see something or a memory surfaces that makes you feel sad. Many people find that the first year after the divorce is very difficult because you have to deal with all the firsts without having a partner. Try to take these slowly and work through your feelings so that you aren’t making decisions impulsively.
Loss of companionship
You don’t have a person waiting for you at home at the end of a rough day at work or with whom to share triumphs. This causes some people to feel regret. It’s often hard for divorcees to understand this, especially when they consider the things that led to the end of the marriage. It’s easy to try to look for that companionship elsewhere but be sure to take time for yourself.
Less time with the kids
A primary source of difficult emotions for parents might be the reduction in time they have with the kids. To combat this, you should focus on spending a higher quality of time with them since you aren’t likely going to get more time. This doesn’t have to mean that you’re always going places. You can also spend quiet time at home. As long as you’re making memories and bonding, you’re having quality time. Holidays might pose a special problem, but you can create new traditions that have a personal meaning to you and your children.
The financial changes that you have to deal with can cause stress. This might magnify the other emotions you feel. Setting up a budget can help here. You can also try to tailor the property division to your financial state. Remember, you’re only going to have your own income after the divorce so you should only try to hang on to assets that you can afford.
Even though you might be facing some very strong emotions, make sure that you’re protecting your interests during the divorce.