It’s true that no divorce is easy. There’s lots of paperwork, and hurt feelings can get in the way of finalizing the steps of divorce as quickly as you’d like. Between arguments and disagreements, it’s simple to let a divorce get the better of you.

The truth is that not all divorces have to be contentious. Even if you don’t agree on everything, you can agree to divorce in as positive a manner as possible.

How can you have an amicable divorce?

First, get yourself into the right frame of mind. Yes, a divorce is devastating and ruins any plans you had in your mind about your future with your spouse. However, it’s also an opportunity. If you attempt to see the positive side of the divorce, this helps you reduce tension, stress and work toward the common goal of a final separation.

It’s easier to have an amicable divorce if you and your spouse have respect for one another. Maybe you didn’t approve of something he or she did, but you can make the choice to divorce without blaming your partner and focus on the bigger picture.

Focus on negotiating with one another. When you find something that works, stick to it. If that means negotiating in public to prevent outbursts or working with a mediator, so be it.

Next, make sure to always put your children first. If you and your spouse have a common goal, it’s easier to divorce amicably with that goal in mind.

Finally, remember that this, too, will pass. This is a frustrating time in your life, but the last thing anyone wants is for the divorce to color your future. Work on being respectful to one another, the judge and your attorneys. You’ll feel better about yourself and the outcome if you do.